Liberals flee to Canada:

A friend sent me this and it made me chuckle...



Subject: illegal aliens



November 16, 2004



Ottawa,Canada:The flood of American liberals

 sneaking across the border into

Canada has intensified in the past week,

sparking calls for increased

patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush

is prompting the exodus among left-leaning

citizens who fear they'll soon be

required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.



Canadian border farmers say it's not

uncommon to see dozens of sociology

professors, animal-rights activists

and Unitarians crossing their fields at

night.



"I went out to milk the cows the other

 day, and there was a Hollywood

producer huddled in the barn," said

Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose

acreage borders North Dakota. The producer

was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and

some free-range chicken.  When I

said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't

even get a chance to show him my screenplay."



In an effort to stop the illegal aliens,

Greenfield erected higher fences,

but the liberals scaled them. So he tried

installing speakers that blare Rush

Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective,"

he said. "The liberals still got through, and

Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give

milk."



Officials are particularly concerned about s

mugglers who meet liberals near

the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons,

drive them across the border and leave them

to fend for themselves.



"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario

border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking

water.

They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."



When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often

wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have

been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education

camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch

NASCAR.



In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious

ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on

bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a

half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration

authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen

passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence

Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.



Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating

an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't

support them," an Ottawaresident said. "How many art-history majors does

one

country need?"



In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice

President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the

administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to

Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And

we

might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is

determined to reach out."